i took it all down because of a kneejerk reaction. i did it because it was a shortcut to knowing me that i didn't want someone to take. but now i find i don't really mind if she read it, just that i don't understand her response. she is not easy to fathom, but i think i must be.
i find myself assuming she took a thread from it and picked me immediately, derived my personality instantly, saw through it, found me a fraud. but maybe she didn't. i can't ask, and i won't know what she found. most likely, a momentary diversion. nothing of note.
but, reading back, i like it. i am proud of some of this. i want it here.